
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10799160.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Character:
      Original_Male_Character(s), Original_Character, Harry_Potter, Bill
      Weasley
  Additional Tags:
      Explicit_Sexual_Content, Comedy, Voyeurism, Masturbation, The_Quidditch
      Pitch:_Self_Pleasure, Not_Epilogue_Compliant, Alternate_Universe, Slash,
      The_Quidditch_Pitch:_The_Changing_Room, Plot_What_Plot/Porn_Without_Plot,
      Crack, Post-War
  Collections:
      The_Quidditch_Pitch
  Stats:
      Published: 2009-10-02 Words: 1418
****** Sidewalk Wanking ******
by brumeux [archived by thequidditchpitch_archivist]
Summary
     A snippet from Real Life.  You can’t make this stuff up.
Notes
     Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at
     The_Quidditch_Pitch, which went offline in 2015 when the hosting
     expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open
     Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began
     importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April
     2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted
     announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or
     know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on The
     Quidditch_Pitch_collection_profile.
     Author's notes:
     I wrote: “Driving to the drugstore/pharmacy/chemist just now, I
     passed a bloke walking down the street with his hand jammed halfway
     to the elbow down his jeans.  Based on positioning and everything, he
     had to be groping himself.  And I got the impression (I was driving,
     after all, and couldn’t take the time to get the details exact) that
     his belt was flapping open.  I swear he was having a good wank as he
     strolled down the sidewalk of our very proper suburb.”
     and Madam_Minnie immediately demanded it be turned into crackfic.

Author's notes:
On your head be it, Minnie…
===============================================================================
Sidewalk Wanking
by Brumeux
You’re walking home from the drugstore, your prescription renewal in your
pocket.  You’re very distracted—the deadline is approaching for the Weasley
exchange fest and you haven’t an idea what you’re going to do.  The twins are
always tempting, but perhaps overused.  Charlie: well, about the only thing
that hasn’t been done with Charlie is an orgy with multiple dragons.  Now
Bill…  Bill is a favourite of yours, and you haven’t written him in a while.
 
Non-DH compliant of course: you need him unmarried (slash fest, infidelity
sucks, and who wants that annoying Fleur around anyway).  Actually, that means
non-HBP compliant too, to avoid the engagement—and that has the added
attraction of no need of scarring.  So far so good.  Actually…  You wonder,
just where is the line between non-compliance and AU?  And who can you ask for
a definitive answer?  Because if you change that one little thing in Goblet of
Fire…
 
You’ll have to check those passages in Goblet as well.  Something like…
 Billwas—there was no other word for it—cool.  He was tall, with long hair that
he had tied back in a ponytail.  He was wearing an earring with what looked
like a fang dangling from it. 
Yes; you’re sure that’s going to go perfectly.  Do you need to explain that for
14-year-old Harry, “cool” is merely an unrecognised synonym for “hot”?  And
 four beds had been squeezed into the room.  “Fred and George are in here with
us, because Bill and Charlie are in their room,” Rontold Harry. 
Yes.  That’s it.  You only have to make a little tweak.
 
Oops!  You almost stepped off the curb into traffic there.  Perhaps you should
wait until you get home to carry on with this.
 
But you forget this the next moment.  Plot bunnies can wait, but PWP bunnies
tend to be a little more insistent.
 
So how will it go?  RonandHarrywent up toRon’s room, expecting two extra beds
for the twins, but finding only three. Billshowed up right after them.  He’d
told Mum that it was silly to throw the twins out of their room and makeRon’s
so very crowded.  Yes, you think; that would make sense and be very much in
character for Bill.  The younger boys quickly changed into pyjamas and slipped
into their beds whilst Billuntied his hair and put his earring on the table. 
As he stripped off, he sensedHarry’s eyes on him.  So he made a little show of
it.  Subtly, of course. Harrywas in deep shadow—it was easy forBillto pretend
he didn’t notice the boy.  When he was naked, he gave a tug on his bollocks. 
You imagine Harry’s face.  Of course, he’s never seen a grown man in the
altogether.  Never seen an adult set of bits.  Never seen anybody fondle his
bits either.  You think Bill will notice this too, out of the corner of his
eye.  Harry’s mouth was not quite open, he thought; and it was just possible
that his eyes could open wider.  He wondered howHarrycould believe he was truly
unobserved.  Bill’s cock swelled a bit from the attention, and he gave it a
stroke or two before settling down on his bed.  Bill wanking.  What an enticing
thought.  Your own trousers are getting a trifle tight, and you reach down to
adjust them a bit.
 
No.  You revise your thought.  Bill wouldn’t be wanking because of a kid. 
Exhibitionism yes; wanking no.  You think a bit.  Obviously, Harry’s not into
serious stroking yet, so what can Bill do without wanking?
 
Billstretched himself out on his camp bed.  A little scratch behind the
bollocks flopped his plump prick up onto his belly, and it lolled from side to
side and up onto the back of his hand as he continued scratching through his
red curls.  He could hearHarrypanting, and a sticky little sound that suggested
that pre-cum had been collected betweenHarry’s busy fingers and his hard-on. 
Good.  That’s exciting you; it should get to the reader as well.  Maybe you
should have bought a slightly larger pair of jeans.
 
What next?  Well, you suppose it would be all right if Bill got an erection as
long as he didn’t jerk off to thoughts of a fourteen-year-old.  Okay.  You go
with that.  Billbegan to rub slow small circles below his navel with one hand
and to tease at his nipples with the other.  He smiled asHarry’s breathing
became more laboured.  The thought that someone was finding his nudity so
arousing caused more blood to get trapped in the tissues of his cock until he
was fully hard. 
A poorly suppressed gasp announced Harry ’s orgasm had finally overcome him. 
Bill hid his grin by turning over on his side, presenting his bum for Harry ’s
consideration as he came down from his high.
Very good.  You heave a little breath yourself as your own excitement eases
slightly.
 
That’s fine, you think; but it doesn’t really move you along.  It’s really only
set the stage: just backstory.  Now for the main event.  You ponder timing. 
When will they get together for real, and who will make the move?
 
After the death of Voldemort, that’s easy.  Another family party at the
Weasleys?  But what will you do with Ron then?  Skinny-dipping at the pond
presents the question of why no one is sharing the time with them.
 
A more immediate question though is—why are you rubbing your hand over the
crotch of your jeans?  You realise the PWP bunny has leapt ahead of mere plot
considerations; disregarded the importance of motive; and in fact already has
presented you with the picture of Harry pinning Bill to a wall, his hands on
either side of Bill’s head and his tongue reaching for Bill’s tonsils.  Bill’s
hands meanwhile have latched onto Harry’s arse, pulling him in tight so their
erections (they would surely have erections by this point) are pressed
together.
 
You need to make another adjustment to get your own erection a little more
comfortable in your jeans.
 
Bill scrabbled at Harry ’s belt and flies.  When they were finally opened, he
shoved them down to Harry ’s knees, quickly followed by his pants.  Harry
pulled away from the kiss, breathing hard.  “I’ve wanted you so long, Bill .  I
wanted you when I was fourteen and I never stopped.”  
“I know,” said Bill .  “I was watching you pull yourself off the night before
the World Quidditch Cup.  I thought it was sweet that I excited you so much. 
Well, not sweet exactly.  But I was honoured by your attention.”
 
“So you did all that deliberately?”
 
“As deliberately as this,” Bill said as he slid down the wall.  With one hand
he pulled Harry ’s cock down a little, the better to engulf it with his mouth. 
His other hand disappeared between Harry ’s legs.
 
You become frustrated by the thick denim between your hand and your dick.  You
make short work of your belt buckle and the top button of your jeans.  You slip
your hand into your briefs and seize your stiff rod.  In your mind, you skip
past the spell lubing Bill’s fingers so they can slide inside Harry’s passage. 
You skip past the various ways Bill licks and sucks.  You jump to Harry’s
groans as Bill’s questing fingers reach his prostate.
 
 
 
The car hits the curb but doesn’t ride up onto the grass.  You see the shocked
gaze of the driver before he returns his attention to the road and his
steering.  You realise you’ve been walking down the street in the middle of the
day so concentrated on wanking that you’ve forgotten where you were.  As a
matter of fact, if you hadn’t almost caused an accident you were on the point
of coming in your pants.
 
Rapidly you fasten your clothing, your arousal completely gone.  You sic a
mental jackal on that damned bunny and concentrate for the rest of your walk
home on Filch doing a striptease for McGonagall as she masturbates with
Crookshank’s tail; on Snape tied to a bed while Dumbledore buggers him with a
twelve-inch dildo; on Dobby wanking to… well, it doesn’t much matter.  Dobby
wanking is distressing enough.
 
You reach home without disturbing any more drivers.
 
… But Bill and Harry are waiting for you.
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